Here are the contestants:
1: A Bear-
LinkThey can tear you apart limb from limb and can climb faster than they can run. Their only known weaknesses are honey and pic-a-nic baskets. Bears are dangerous, except when you meet them in gyms. Then they're extremely dangerous. If you'd like to learn more about bears, click here! -->
Link2: Walrus-
LinkWalruses(is?) are known for being water-dwelling creatures with long tusks. Or maybe they're teeth, heck I don't know I'm not a zoologist. Or a walrusologist. Or whatever it is that studies walrusi. If you put chopsticks in your mouth, you can look like a walrus kind of.
3: Your Mom-
LinkYo momma so fat, she's got her own gravitational field.
Yo momma so poor she can't even pay attention.
Yo momma so dumb, she can't think of a third joke to put right here....
4: Neo7-
Link (visual approximation)
Now I'm not going to sit here and make Neo7-related Chuck Norris Jokes. Instead, I am going to stand here and post it on the internet. Why am I standing in front of my computer? Well, I'm not. But saying "crouching awkwardly while sitting on one leg until it goes numb" doesn't have the same ring to it.
[Edited by Latiosmaster47, 7/21/2012 11:07:50 PM]