Read the MANUAL.
If you bought your game online, register your cd-key with EA through EADM and then right click Sims: Medieval and get the manual.
Its like every 4 hours you ask a question about gameplay, which makes me wonder if you even bought the game.
Yes I bought the game and the reason I didn't read the manual was because I didn't think the kind of help I needed would be in there.
And just so you know I have never ever pirated a game ever.
Ok so let me get this straight, rather than reading a manual to figure out how to do things, you would rather post on a forum and wait for an answer?
Yes! And I did red the manual and my first assumption was right there was nothing in the manual that would answer any of the questions that I have asked on this forum.
The manual clearly states that certain actions can only be achieved if the sim you are performing them on has a specific love/hate relationship with you. So common sense must mean that if a action is grey or not available it means you do not meet the relationship requirements to do the action.
That kinda covers quite a lot of your questions, just by that little bit of information.
What it doesn't tell me is how to get the option I want to be available. As I originally stated the relationship bar was completely red on the left side but the fist fight option was not available for some reason. The funny thing is earlier today I went back to play the game and the fist fight option was available under the fight submenu.