In theory Ready 2 Rumble Revolution for the Wii should work – but in reality it’s an utter disaster of a game that should be avoided at all costs.  What’s worse is that traces of the series’ once enjoyable roots can be seen at almost every turn, but they’ve been cut down in favor of awkward, nonresponsive Wii controls and cheap, arcade gameplay.

The premise of Ready 2 Rumble hasn’t changed much since the series Dreamcast days, pit cartoon fighters against each other in an effort to be crowned champion. Simple right? The only problem is that the enjoyable characters from previous installments have all been removed in favor of unimaginative ones that rely on ethnic stereotypes so much that they’re borderline offensive. Should you play as the Hispanic fighter who just loves Mariachi or the big dumb German in lederhosen? While I was playing I seriously thought I would be fighting a Bruce Lee looking Asian or an Italian who shares his last name with that of a dish from his home country. Oh wait…

"...the roster is comprised of slight-chuckle worthy celebrity parodies."

The rest of the roster is comprised of slight-chuckle worthy celebrity parodies. Most of the celebrity characters are mere caricatures of a single moment in their career – think of it as an even lower-brow version of MTV’s Celebrity Death Match.  Some of the parodies, i.e. the ones you can recognize are enjoyable, like  Hilarious D – Jack Black in his School of Rock costume or Syphon Cruel; a man-boobed and haggard version of American Idol’s Simon Cowell.  Others aren’t so recognizable, I had a hard time telling if the Shaun White character was in fact him or Carrot Top, and I’m told that the character Dewey Struedel is somehow supposed to be David Hasselhoff. Really?

Say what you will about the character selection, but it’s nowhere near as bad as the game’s real problem, the completely unresponsive and frustrating Wii controls. The reason boxing works so well in Wii-Sports is because it’s simple and responsive, both of which R2R are not.  Sure, simple jabs are easily pulled off, but anything more than that requires you to do precise movements with both the Wii-mote and nunchucku.  Most of these attacks require multiple movements, and more often than not the game doesn’t read the entire movement, causing your character to sit there like an idiot, wide open for attacks.  What’s worse is that the game rewards players for playing along with the rhythm of the fight. Duck at the right time, or land a counter and your Rumble Meter (used to issue stronger attacks and damage) grows, but it’s extremely frustrating when you’re timing everything just right but the game refuses to read it correctly.

"...there are almost no redeeming qualities here."

Ready 2 Rumble’s main gameplay mode is the career mode, which pits your created fighter against the other characters in a pretty straight forward campaign. Like previous installments of the series, your character’s attributes are tied to how well you perform in training mini-games; at least that’s the idea. While you choose what areas you would like to improve, it just doesn’t seem to make much of a difference in the ring. For instance, I chose to work on my character’s speed, but even after extensive training, I was still sluggish. The same goes for pretty much every mini-game, and sadly they do run on the same awkward control scheme.

Ready 2 Rumble used to be a great, fun series, but Atari’s insistence on updating the game’s controls for the waggle-generation has all but broken it. From the offensive characters to the horribly sloppy control scheme, there are almost no redeeming qualities here. Do yourself a favor, and stick with the boxing mode in Wii-Sports.