Off-Topic Discussions

Page 1 of 3   •  First Page  •  Previous Page  •   Next Page  •   Last Page
Signup or Login to Post
Have a joke, on me.
  • Current rank: 2 Stars. Next Rank at 1000 Posts.
    Send a message to Dancer
    ELITE
    Dancer posted on Nov 21, 2009 5:57:13 PM - Report post
     
    A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?!"
    ⊙__⊙

  • Current rank: 2.5 Stars. Next Rank at 2000 Posts.
    Send a message to Dhampy
    ELITE
    Dhampy posted on Nov 21, 2009 6:07:26 PM - Report post
     
    I know a different version.

    One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the ****'s your problem?'
    In the end they will lay their freedom at our feet and say to us, 'Make us your slaves, but feed us.'

    List of CHU'ers on deviantART--SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL DEVIANTS!

    /--\
    [SG]
  • Current rank: 2.5 Stars. Next Rank at 2000 Posts.
    Send a message to Toastman
    ELITE
    Toastman posted on Nov 21, 2009 6:17:29 PM - Report post
     
    I laughed. Not out loud.
    [sg]

    "I like big butts and I cannot lie." -Mahatma Gandhi
  • Current rank: 2 Stars. Next Rank at 1000 Posts.
    Send a message to Dancer
    ELITE
    Dancer posted on Nov 21, 2009 6:20:42 PM - Report post
     
    It was a lovely winter morning and as Billy and Sarah woke up from their beds, they noticed it had snowed all night. With excitement rushing through their bodies they rush downstairs, put their little woolen scarves on and little woolen hats and start to play with the snow in the garden. Their mother wakes up and watches them from the kitchen window with a little content smile on her face. The children start to build a snowman and the mother comes out to help, they all pitch in and share a day of laughter and frolic. Soon enough, the most wonderful snowman in the world is made and stood firmly and proudly in the garden. It had a smile of coal, a carrot for a nose and their father's old hat on. The children were now tired so, their mother took them inside to sit together by the fire. While they were inside a bird lands on a branch overlooking the snowman and says, "Oh, hello Mr. snowman, how glorious you look, that family sure put a lot of love into making you! I sure do love the snow it makes everything look beautiful, don't you think?" The snowman turns to look at the bird and replies, "SHUT YOUR ****ING FACE YOU STUPID ****ING BIRD!"

    Sorry, I just made that up, I don't know why.

    [Edited by Dancer, 11/21/2009 6:22:53 PM]
    ⊙__⊙

  • Current rank: 1.5 Stars. Next Rank at 500 Posts.
    Send a message to Tri_Edge_1836
    ELITE
    Tri_Edge_1836 posted on Nov 22, 2009 10:13:25 AM - Report post
     
    quote:
    originally posted by Dancer

    It was a lovely winter morning and as Billy and Sarah woke up from their beds, they noticed it had snowed all night. With excitement rushing through their bodies they rush downstairs, put their little woolen scarves on and little woolen hats and start to play with the snow in the garden. Their mother wakes up and watches them from the kitchen window with a little content smile on her face. The children start to build a snowman and the mother comes out to help, they all pitch in and share a day of laughter and frolic. Soon enough, the most wonderful snowman in the world is made and stood firmly and proudly in the garden. It had a smile of coal, a carrot for a nose and their father's old hat on. The children were now tired so, their mother took them inside to sit together by the fire. While they were inside a bird lands on a branch overlooking the snowman and says, "Oh, hello Mr. snowman, how glorious you look, that family sure put a lot of love into making you! I sure do love the snow it makes everything look beautiful, don't you think?" The snowman turns to look at the bird and replies, "SHUT YOUR ****ING FACE YOU STUPID ****ING BIRD!"

    Sorry, I just made that up, I don't know why.

    [Edited by Dancer, 11/21/2009 6:22:53 PM]

    A) You seem to be in a Mood for spamming...

    B) You wanted to use **** a bit...

    C) Think you might be in a foul mood, try calming yourself a bit....

    ( <---- This is coz I felt like spamming this smiley... I like it..)

    With issues. =(
  • Tier 7
    Send a message to QueenNic
    TIER 7
    QueenNic posted on Nov 22, 2009 10:44:23 AM - Report post
     
    I think the response to Dancer's joke amused me more than the joke itself...
    Child of Neo7
    Half-sister of AdmiralThrawn
    Mother of Planbskater, Foxxie-kun, DayDreamer85, Rise_Against and FireflyPoi
    C.o.W
  • Current rank: 2 Stars. Next Rank at 1000 Posts.
    Send a message to Dancer
    ELITE
    Dancer posted on Nov 22, 2009 11:26:10 AM - Report post
     
    quote:
    originally posted by Tri_Edge_1836

    quote:
    originally posted by Dancer

    It was a lovely winter morning and as Billy and Sarah woke up from their beds, they noticed it had snowed all night. With excitement rushing through their bodies they rush downstairs, put their little woolen scarves on and little woolen hats and start to play with the snow in the garden. Their mother wakes up and watches them from the kitchen window with a little content smile on her face. The children start to build a snowman and the mother comes out to help, they all pitch in and share a day of laughter and frolic. Soon enough, the most wonderful snowman in the world is made and stood firmly and proudly in the garden. It had a smile of coal, a carrot for a nose and their father's old hat on. The children were now tired so, their mother took them inside to sit together by the fire. While they were inside a bird lands on a branch overlooking the snowman and says, "Oh, hello Mr. snowman, how glorious you look, that family sure put a lot of love into making you! I sure do love the snow it makes everything look beautiful, don't you think?" The snowman turns to look at the bird and replies, "SHUT YOUR ****ING FACE YOU STUPID ****ING BIRD!"

    Sorry, I just made that up, I don't know why.

    [Edited by Dancer, 11/21/2009 6:22:53 PM]

    A) You seem to be in a Mood for spamming...

    B) You wanted to use **** a bit...

    C) Think you might be in a foul mood, try calming yourself a bit....

    ( <---- This is coz I felt like spamming this smiley... I like it..)

    A) It's not always appropriate to openly analyse something when you have a slender grasp on understanding creativity and satire.

    Now, I am sad.

    [Edited by Dancer, 11/22/2009 11:30:59 AM]

    ⊙__⊙

  • Current rank: 2 Stars. Next Rank at 1000 Posts.
    Send a message to Foxxie-kun
    VETERAN
    Foxxie-kun posted on Nov 22, 2009 12:28:09 PM - Report post
     
    *hugs Dancer* don't be sad Dancer. I still like you
    Yo.
Page 1 of 3   •  First Page  •  Previous Page  •   Next Page  •   Last Page
Signup or Login to Post
All times are (GMT -06:00) Central Time (US & Canada). Current time is 6:34:18 AM